Oh Lorde, Please Make It Stop.

Written by Anthony Salvatore, an unemployed attorney. 

And we’ll never be royals (royals). It don’t run in our blood. That kind of luxe just ain’t for us. We crave a different kind of buzz.” Can I hear that again? And again? How about another eight times in the next hour? For the next few months?

Let me start by saying that I like a variety of music. I will listen to alternative stations playing CHVRCHES and suddenly switch over to listen to some pop stations playing Miley Cyrus.  My taste in music is madly inconsistent. But the one consistency in all of it is I dislike almost every radio station in the capital region. I dislike them so much that I literally sat down and took an hour out of my day to write this article.

If you can’t tell by now why I am writing this article (meaning you didn’t read the last sentence) it’s because nearly every radio station in the Capital Region is terrible. And for a variety of reasons. Now I’m not saying they are terrible in the sense of the music they play, but because the stations play the same songs over and over and over again until you are so sick of them you write an article about it. They are terrible because they introduce songs that have been out for six months as “new”. They are terrible because they spend an unusually large amount of time telling you about Katy Perry’s cat (her cat’s name is Kitty Purry. Go ahead… try to unlearn that).

“Royals” by Lorde. I loved the song when I first heard it. That was six months ago on EQX when it first came out (at the time the song really was “new” but I’ll get to that in a later paragraph). But now that every other radio station has been playing it over and over and over and over, I have heard to it so much that I despise it. I didn’t say that I’ve heard to it so much that I no longer like it. No! I have heard to it so much that I want to rip the radio out of the dash every time I hear it.

Fortunately I can just change the station right? Wrong! Because there it is again! How about another station? There it is again! Let’s try another station. Surprise! It’s everywhere. It’s inescapable! I just want it to stop. She has other great songs you can play. Please, is there any station that isn’t playing this song anymore? Right, there is ONE station that isn’t playing the song. And it’s the station that played it six months ago when it first came out. I suppose they realize that it has being played on every other station non-stop and it’s probably best if they play something new.

And that leads me to my second critique of the local radio stations. “New” music. You can’t introduce a song as “new” when they have been out for over six months. Just because you’re playing it for the first time on your radio station doesn’t mean it’s new. How egomaniacal do you have to be that you don’t consider anything new until you’ve played it? It’s new a few weeks after the artist released it. That is when it is new. Not when you decide to finally play it.

I know what you’re thinking. “If you don’t like it you don’t have to listen.” Fair point. And it’s true. I don’t have to listen. I can always go and get Sirius XM. And in fact I have. Sirius XM and EQX are the reason I didn’t write this sooner. They actually know not to play a song over and over and over again. They actually know what “new” means. They know that they should be playing music instead of talking about Taylor Swift’s latest ex. If it weren’t for them this article would have been written months ago. But just because Sirius XM and EQX are doing it right doesn’t mean the other radio stations get to do it wrong. When someone is doing a terrible job they need to be notified. Well capital region radio stations this is your notice. You are doing it wrong.

Rant over!

 -Anthony Salvatore
 Unemployed Attorney

img via Mark J Sebastian

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